Sara (tipsyhippo) wrote,

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I've got my feelings under control right now, but I know how I am, and I know that I have feelings slowly, and then all at once. I'm still just completely mind blown that any of this happened at all anyway. Fabulous was always just going to be that guy I had a fantastic crush on, that I would get more forward with when I was drunk, and that was always going to be okay. It's also foreign to me, to be in this middle ground where I'm completely level headed and self-aware, but still I enjoy spending time with this person and would like to do it more often. I like the feeling I'm at right now. Anything could happen and I wouldn't be ripped to shreds emotionally. There is definitely something to be said about that. Of course, I don't know if that feeling is just being a mature adult, or if it's self-preservation.

I'm still stuck on this feeling like I don't really know Fabulous all that well. But I do know I get to know him more every time I see him, so I'm sure this feeling will dissipate.

I have upgraded us to "seeing each other" from "kind of seeing each other." :) We've hung out a few times, we are still feeling each other out. We have fun. We are not hanging out with other people at this juncture. I am cool with this phase lasting a little while, and so is he, which is nice because I need some more time to get more comfortable with me/myself and also to figure out what I want. Except in reality I know that I want it to be more eventually, I'm just cautious of moving too quickly and simultaneously fearful of getting hurt.
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